LOVE YOURSELF: IT LASTS ETERNITY

Going back to college after long breaks and meeting your friends is always very exciting. One of the most common questions you encounter is, “How are you?” and this goes on for more than ten times a day. Usually, our response is the same answer “good” with a fake smile, but this made me question myself, “Am I really good??”  

Little did they know, I wasn’t good and was struggling internally with my soul. Years of lingering thoughts and fears have now piled up into a great huge turmoil.

Doubting on self, worrying about the life’s extremely smallest things, stressing on health, academics, relationships, social life, grieving about the future, things which are not even in my hands, and self-appearance, some of these nutty reasons were good enough for my downfall.

Playing with my mind, trying hard to take control of things, thinking, I’m not strong enough to make the things OK.

I used to yield the things that cut me down, for no reason I harped on my past slip-ups, knowing I can’t transform them, get disappointed when things don’t go my direction and the list is endless.

And finally, this agony evolved into SELFHATE.

At some point in time, we have all hated ourselves and overcame it. And sometimes we might get stuck.

 If the one reading this is stuck there, this one is for you!

While writing this blog, it made me wonder,

“WHY DO PEOPLE HATE THEMSELVES?”

Standing in front of the mirror, staring for hours, questioning, “Do I look good?” uhhh Naa!!

 I’ve seen lots of people either saying, “They hate themselves” or “behaving in a way, disrespecting themselves”. Even in one of the magazines I read, 4 lakhs+ people google in a year, “What to do, I hate myself”. It’s heartbreaking to see such a huge number is wrestling with self-hatred.

 By the way from where does this feeling of hate come from??

 Any guesses??

What I found after talking to people of different age groups was, they compare themselves to others. Rather than seeing themselves as a different person and their positive side, they peep into their negative wall. This feeling is such common that the one who loves himself also starts feeling a little conscious when he is around with his friends.

Certain incidents happen in everyone’s life, which may break you, deform you, but then, those incidents only mold you to become the best version of you. Even some of you would question your existence, “Why am I even alive?”.                    

Some people become victims of physical, mental, sexual, and verbal abuse in their life. And that abuse gets so deeper that they start hating themselves, which is utmostly reflected in their actions and behavior. According to a study, 91% of the time the molester is a close family relative or a parent.

What an irony, humans are harming humans!!!

self care

But we the children of God cannot lose hope this early, a voice raised once is a full stop to that abuse. Though it’s difficult for the ones who suffer from it, but a little effort and courage can do wonders. There is always one person in our life whom we are very close to, we can share the problem with them or try to approach a family relative. If you are being sexually abused on a continuous basis, there are child helpline numbers too and they do help. 1098 is operated 24×7 to save a child from falling into the trench of darkness. Several counseling clinics have been opened to provide some free counseling sessions for victims.

Coming down the line, in twenty years, you will be more disappointed by what you didn’t do than by what you did. It’s never too late, start doing something which is not only your passion but your life going therapy as well. It’s better not to nag ourselves on past memories. Can we give a new start to our life??

We all are gnawing with some or the other fear, fear of losing people, health, money, we want to become famous, excel in our careers and whatnot.

It’s our choice, One day or Day one.
Write your fears on a paper and overcome them one at a time.

Some women are diagnosed with some gynaecological issues and are unable to conceive. Rather than hurting our soul again and again, can we think of this from another perspective, “there are so many children in the world, all they want is acceptance.” Can we adopt one?! And enjoy the feeling of being a mother.

People think they will not be accepted by other people because we, in the world of perfect, are imperfects. Stop worrying about the things or the people you’ve lost. Things and people who are meant to be with you, are with you and will be with you no matter what.

Sometimes, somebody’s absence makes you a stronger and better person. Cherish their absence as it’s always a blessing in disguise. Live your life fully, accept yourself the way you are, be kind to yourself and then only you can be kind to others. Love yourself and spread that love. When you start accepting yourself, the world recognizes you, it all starts from within.

Now the question that arises is,

What is self-love? And how important it is to love own self?

I feel like we all are becoming so reliant on another person to satisfy our own happiness. We frantically try to get into a relationship, convincing ourselves, that this is the only way we can seek love, affection, and happiness. But in this course, you tend to lose your self-respect.

Respect is hard to earn and self-respect is even harder. We are the biggest and the greatest critics of ourselves and are never satisfied with our own outcomes. Hence, we are not happy and accepting of ourselves. As long as we can’t accept ourselves as a person with flaws and without perfection, we can’t respect ourselves.

As soon as we can embrace ourselves with our flaws and be proud of the journey we went through to reach this point, we start respecting ourselves and this self-respect leads to the betterment of self.  

If we can’t bring ourselves to respect our individual identity, how are we going to respect others or even why will others respect you?

 How about I tell you, you can be in a relationship with yourself.

Yes, you read it right!!

By the end of the day, that is the only thing that should matter. Take yourself to a good restaurant, go buy your favorite dress, color your hair, take care of yourself as a small baby.

Adore yourself. Love what you do, and love your identity

It’s not selfish to love yourself, it’s necessary.

9 SIMPLE WAYS ON HOW TO LOVE YOURSELF MORE:

  DIFFERENCE BETWEEN SELF RESPECT AND EGO

It is a very common misconception among people that self-respect and ego are the same. Yes, they are similar terms, but ego only focuses on the self and in the interest of self. It constantly tries to satisfy its desires at any cost and hence is deemed as a negative connotation. However, self-respect is different as it comes from self-acceptance.

 It is not selfish, but understanding. Self-respect comes only when you have accepted yourself and are happy with it. Once you gain self-respect you start to respect others as well.


“You disrespect yourself every time you
  say ‘yes’ when you want to say ‘no’. You
  call it loyalty/ love/ friendship. Really,
  you’re just hoping someone will see
  how amazing you are and choose you.
  It shouldn’t work that way. Choose
 Yourself. That’s how you teach them.
  By choosing you.”

 Can we all start to live in the present rather than stressing on the future?                   

When we continue to contemplate on what’s to come, you’re doing an injustice to yourself. You overthink on the issues that are most likely aren’t going to occur. And when you do this, you create problems that don’t really exist, you forget to enjoy the present, you forget to appreciate things, people around you, the food you eat but hold on to one question what’s to come and the answer will always be unknown.

There’s one movie which is very inspiring “Yeh Jawani Hai Deewani” and everyone should give a watch how beautifully it has portrayed the current scenario.
One of the dialogues which personally inspires me the most is

Jitna try karo, life mein                        
    kuch na kuch chutega hi.
Toh jahan hain, wahin ka maza lete hain.”

“Quit worrying about tomorrow, since you deserve happiness today”

 Make yourself and other people realize, their existence matters; be their inspiration, role model and God’s favorite child.

If a human is harming human, then a human can help human too!!

Let’s help each other to realize each other’s importance and make this world a beautiful place!

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